Friday, February 15, 2008

A Love Surreal

Originally uploaded by gr8wendini
Right now I’m listening to the Anti-Valentine’s Day after show on NPR. “My Love for You has Turned to Hate” A little Hank Williams to start my day. All this pink and red heart-shaped candy, decor and mass marketed crap will be ½ price today, only to be replaced by shamrocks and lephrecon and a sea of green on the shelves of your local CVS, Walgreen’s, or now, in my case, H-E-B (which I fondly call “Heb” for the Jew in you).

Before I get back to my love affair, Austin, first a commercial break-- grab a down coat – because I visited Winter in Chicago last weekend for a big family Bar Mitzvah, and that was surreal. Surreal is neither good nor bad—it is a state of experience. I say surreal only to illustrate how different my life feels by comparison, and what it is to literally visit another’s ‘world’. Although we all share the same calendar, the way we spend our days are markedly different.

My family in Chicago and their lifestyle is the path not taken. What would my life look like if my Father never got that job in New York 40+ years ago?

I saw snow for the first time this year, so I guess I spoke too soon when I said I escaped Winter—I got the hit of sub below, but visiting Winter is better than living through it. Another part of the surreal was going ‘home’ to Austin. My state of transition is mysterious to everyone including myself. “So where are you now?” “What’s happening?” “When do you come back to NY?”

Well, I’m in the, and present to, my flow, which feels like my days as a NY resident are over, at least for now—I feel everything that has unfolded thus far is a series of lucky breaks. Joseph Campbell calls these breaks “A thousand unseen helping hands” Not that I don’t struggle and have uncertainty, but I trust that I’m in the right place, and it’s outside my comfort zone.

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